Moronic Commandments

1. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's asp (as in the thing that killed Cleopatra, not the stupid server pages).

2. The all seeing moron will not tolerate the worship of craven scientific explanations of the universe or Tom Cruse/John Travolta.

3. The land of milk and vodka will not be open to the lactose intolerant. The lesser land of gluten free pasta will be open to you on weekends.

4. Cheese eating flat earthers see 3.

5. Thou shalt not testify against your mother church in any recognized international court of law. Furthermore you will not participate in any form of communication pertaining to the collection of prosecution evidence against "dangerous religious cults" .

6. Thou shalt not rock the inter-galactic sea turtle upon which our faith flounders.

7. All animals are created equal, some animals are more equal than others. Four legs good... eight legs better.

8. You will surrender to your spider overlords and do their bidding.

9. Thou shalt not go to the beach with Albert Camus.

10. Do not hesitate to attempt to use financial incentives to accelerate your moronic ascension to grand wizard.

11. Thou shalt not point out that there are typically only 10 commandments.